Minnesota

Sarah was home! She was so small.

She looked like a little babydoll - especially when Leah held her. Leah was just shy of turning 2 years old when Sarah came home.

A couple of months after bringing Sarah home, I started having some health issues. I went to an ENT who had an opinion on what was "wrong" with me and he prescribed medication. He told me I could not nurse while on this medicine. I sat in my car with Sarah in my arms and a prescription in my hand. I needed to be healthy to take care of my family, but I wanted to nurse my daughter. Being preemie, I felt she really needed what I could give her.

I sat in my car and called the lactation consultant at the hospital.

I cried over the phone to her.

Together, we came up with a way I could still nurse.

I would have to do a lot of "pumping and dumping."

But I would have done just about anything to be able to nurse my baby.

I continued on the medication, but didn't feel any better.

I remember one night I actually kind of "challenged" God.

I saw a commercial for restless leg syndrome. I was like - I could handle that better than what I have. I could handle some pain.

That night, I woke up with the worst pain in my legs. I could not stand it! I went into our bathroom and laid down on the floor. I could not get into a comfortable position. I started to cry and said outloud - "Ok! I get it! I can't handle this pain." - And the pain went away.

A church nearby was having one of the boys who has been visited by Mary in Medjugorje come speak. I went with a few of my Bible Girls. It was amazing. I could smell the roses while sitting in the church. There was a place to put your prayers for Mary. I wrote a prayer for courage and strength to do what I had to do.

After my next visit, I was sent for more tests. The tests came back as something a little more serious. I was scared. I got the phone call while I was having tea at a shop with Tom and Sarah.

I told Tom I had to go home and search online for an answer. He told me I could only go to the Mayo Clinic site - since they had already helped me in the past with my lungs. I agreed. The internet can be informative, but it can also be scary - there is so much misinformation on there too.

I looked on Mayo and there they had an article about what the doctor told me I had. They were doing a new procedure to possibly help people with this condition. I immediately called Mayo Clinic and they gave me an appointment. It was for a few weeks later, but it was perfect timing.

Yes, I wanted to get there right away, but this way my parents would be back from Florida and able to stay at our home with our other 5 children while Tom and I and Sarah traveled to Minnesota.

One night I felt overwhelmed. Tom was working late, I was exhausted after getting our 6 children to bed by myself.

I decided to take a bath to see if that would help calm me down. It didn't. I got out of the tub and just started to cry. I cried harder than I think I've ever cried. And I prayed. I prayed harder than I think I've ever prayed.

I was down on my knees. I was begging God. I told Him that I knew he wouldn't give me more than I can handle. And this was something I just couldn't handle. I couldn't be a good wife and mother while I was worrying about myself. I needed this to go away so I could focus on the family He had blessed me with. I put my head on the floor and sobbed.

Suddenly I heard our garage door open. I was so happy to hear Tom was home. I grabbed my robe, wiped my tears, and ran down the stairs. As I came into our Family room area, our door opened. It was my mother and father.

I was so surprised! I was so thankful.

I was expecting them the next day. Plus, they never stop by our home this late at night. They go straight to my sister's home - 35 minutes away. They knew their grandchildren would be in bed, yet here they were.
I feel God knew I needed them at that moment. My heartfelt prayer was heard by God and He whispered to my parents to come to my home that night.

I always joke that my mother has a direct line to God.

Before leaving for Minnesota, I made a CD with about a dozen christian songs that I love. We listened to it all the way there.

I had also made copies for my Bible Girls. These songs were helping me get through this difficult time and I felt that they might help others too. Music can really lift your spirit. I think singing is a wonderful way to praise God. I was happy to share it with others.

(And I am still thanked for the CD to this day.)