Noah Stephen

In October, we took the boys trick or treating as Batman and Robin. They were adorable. Brandon loved his black rain boots that we bought to go with his costume. He wore them all the time! He loved them almost as much as his stuffed Elmo, that now looks very loved, or his Blues Clues tv show. He would run around the house singing the theme song constantly. He even had his own "notebook" for clues. 
I wasn't due for another 8 days, but while I was sitting at home with Brandon and Ethan - I felt my water break. All of a sudden my pants were wet. Soon I was sitting on top of a bath towel, calling my doctor. The nurse asked me if I was sure it was my water breaking and I told her I had soaked through a bath towel. She told me to come in as soon as possible.

I called Tommy to let him know.

Then I called my friend who is a nurse. Tom and I agreed that we wanted her to be with us when our baby was born. She was a wonderful, close friend and she could be our own personal nurse - in case we had any questions or concerns :o)

Tom and I went to the hospital and our friend met us there.

My water had broken, so there was no turning back now.

On November 30, 2001 our 3rd son - weighing 6 lbs - was born. Noah Stephen.

Moving On

We would go visit our new home site often. We were very excited.

My tummy grew as our home grew. Lots of changes going on.

We tried to sell our little home on our own, but we ended up hiring an agent to help us sell it. It was a little hard to say good-bye to our first house, but once we had another family member it was clear that we needed more space.

Brandon and Ethan's room had two little toddler beds in it and it was getting tight in there. We had two kitties and one dog (soon two.)

Our one kitty, Spike - Simon's brother - passed away and we had adopted Moose. I still had my dog Justin and soon we would be getting a puppy St. Bernard named Sulley.

But before getting our new puppy, we were being blessed with another child.

While pregnant with our 3rd child, I was told there might be something wrong. I had a blood test come back with some concerns. But with lots of prayers and a Level 2 Ultrasound, we learned we were having a healthy boy. I remember Tom and I looking at our baby on the sonogram and we looked at each other and both said his name. We had been going back and forth on a couple of names, but at that moment we both knew what his name should be. Right then, we named him Noah.

Brandon had started Kindergarten that Fall. We lived a couple of blocks away from the school. On nice days, I would walk Brandon to school with Ethan. But somedays, when I felt very pregnant, I would drive.

One morning I was getting ready to take Brandon. I quickly drove Brandon to school while Tom was in the bathroom getting ready for work. I heard something that concerned me while in the car. When I got home there was something on the television, but I couldn't quite understand what was going on. I yelled to Tom to come in the room.

I said something is happening and you need to see this!

The date was September 11, 2000.

That was a day that changed us all.

God Bless the USA.

Our Get Away Trips

My doctor told me to wait until I had two full "cycles" before trying to get pregnant again. I felt that was the only way I could move on. It was hard for me to see other pregnant women. There were a few things going on in our lives that were difficult at the time.

With the idea of having another child we were also thinking it was time to start looking for a bigger home. There were some new home models we went to look at. We fell in love with one of the model homes, but we decided to take some time and think about it. It was a difficult decision for me. We would be moving to a different town about 40 minutes away. But I prayed a lot - and there was a beautiful new Catholic church right across the street from the subdivision. I thought it was a nice idea that when I could see this beautiful church, I would know I was almost home.

We planned a trip to DisneyWorld. We had a wonderful time there.

We took a limosine from our home to the airport early one morning. The boys loved it! The plane ride wasn't too bad. When we landed we rented a car and drove a few hours to our hotel at DisneyWorld. Brandon loved all the characters and the songs. Bear in the Big Blue House is a great memory for me. Brandon sang the loudest. And little Ethan also loved the characters. It was a magical time for our two boys. And since this is where Tom and I spent our Honeymoon - it was extra special for us too.

After a few days, we drove to Panama City to stay with my parents. We spent some time on the beach, at the pool, mini golfing, and just spending time with my parents.

Then my parents asked us if we were interested in going to Ireland to visit different religious places - and to see where my father's side of the family came from. My older sister's family would be coming too.

We would be going that summer.

Meanwhile, we did decide to purchase a new home. It would take a few months for it to be built - almost a year. We signed the papers - and on the same day we became pregnant with our next child.

Ireland was amazing! Beautiful! Another special memory. We were very blessed to be able to go with our family. I was about 4 months pregnant when we went.

The following month we went to Wisconsin with my parents and my siblings' families. A tradition that has continued.

So here we were due around the same time we had had a miscarriage the year before. What a difference a year can make.

Our Pearl Baby

We had a little trouble getting pregnant this time.

And by "trouble" I mean it took us more than a couple of months.

I thought we would get pregnant right away. It took a few months.

Tom and I were very excited when we finally got a positive sign on a pregnancy test. When we were about 9 weeks pregnant we went to visit my parents. It was around my birthday. While I was shopping with my mom, I snuck into a dressing room and came out wearing maternity pants. I showed my mom. She was so excited and started helping me pick out more maternity clothes.

When Tom and I and our boys got back to our home, I had an ultrasound. The dates were a little off.

I went for an appointment with my doctor. He did an ultrasound in another room. No heartbeat. My doctor handed me a tissue and told me I had every right to cry. And he let me sit there for a moment and just let it out.

Then I had to go out to the waiting room where Tom was sitting with our two sons. I looked at him, he smiled, then I just slowly shook my head and started to cry again. We left.

After another week, I went back to see my doctor. He did one more ultrasound to make sure there still wasn't a heartbeat since I had no physical signs of a miscarriage. Still no heartbeat.

A few days later I made the difficult decision to have a D & C. My body just wasn't letting go.

I went in the day before Thanksgiving.

On Thanksgiving, Tom's mother came over. We had a wonderful meal together and were thankful for all we had. This is our yearly tradition. Tom's mother comes to our home for Thanksgiving and spends the night. The next morning, Tom and I get up around 3 or 4 am to go shopping on Black Friday. Great deals, interesting people, and special time together.

The following month on Christmas morning, I opened up a little gift from Tommy. He got me pearl earrings - it would have been our baby's birthstone. To this day, I still wear one of these earrings in my right ear all the time.

Two Sons

Two sons.

(Both nursing.)

Brandon loved having a little brother. He wanted to help me do everything for Ethan. I remember putting the lotion on Ethan after bath time and Brandon loved to help me rub Ethan's back.

We thought Brandon would have to move out of his crib soon so we got him a little toddler bed. Ethan slept in the cradle. The cradle was made by Tom's dad when Brandon was born.

Soon Ethan was out of the cradle, but he moved into our bed instead of the crib. He preferred sleeping with us.

I had been going to my sister's home to take care of my nephew, but now that I had a newborn my nephew came to our home.

I did lots of crafts with the boys. Lots of music, lots of playing.

Tom built a playset in the backyard. We had a little basketball hoop and a sprinkler out back too. We also made a little garden. I can still picture

Brandon picking and carrying cucumbers. He was very proud of what he had helped grow.

After awhile, my sister decided to put her son into a daycare.

I was sad that I would not be taking care of my nephew anymore. I loved that my two sons were being raised with their cousin. They had a lot of fun together. They had a special bond.

With that part of our income gone, Tom decided to try for a promotion at work. I knew he could do it and there were others that were encouraging Tom to go for it too. Tom just needed to know he could do it. I was so very proud of him. He went for the management position and he got it. He stepped up and took a chance so that he would be able to provide for his family. I know I can always count on my Tommy. He is a wonderful man, a wonderful provider.

I was soon spending my days with our two boys. We did lots of things. There was a park close to our home. Tom helped build a new huge playset there. This was before Ethan was born. We bought one of the pickets for the fence that surrounded the play area. It has Brandon and Ethan carved in it. That was one time I was glad we knew we were having a boy and had a name picked out already.

(I wonder if it is still there.)

Brandon did get very sick with the Rotavirus. He had to be hospitalized for dehydration. I stayed the night with him. We watched Batman videos and ate popsicles. The next morning, Tom and Ethan came to get us. Ethan was on a chair next to Brandon's hospital bed. He stood up and fell right off, hitting his head on the floor. I could hear it "crack." I yelled for a nurse. She said she couldn't touch him, I had to take him to the ER. I was confused and angry.
Turns out, Ethan had fractured his skull. I got to spend that night in the hospital with Ethan.

Brandon got a wagon for his birthday.

We would walk to the park a lot. We did a lot of picnics there.

We still have that wagon. Lots ot things we bought for Brandon we still have.We still have Brandon's first stroller - I won't let Tom get rid of it. In my opinion, lots of items for babies and children were made "better" back then.

Anyways, after Ethan turned a year old, Tom and I started thinking about having another baby. We decided to try.

Ethan Christopher

Nine months later, Ethan Christopher was born.

When he was about 10 days late my doctor induced me.

She was guessing he was about 7 lbs. 

Ethan was over 9 lbs.

Big boy with thick dark hair.

Adorable and very loved by his older brother.

Tom and I had come up with our second son's name on our 1st Anniversary.

Brandon was about 2 months old when we went to the movies. We saw Mission Impossible. Ethan Hunt was the main character.

We decided then that if we ever had another boy we'd name him Ethan.

We found out at our 20 week ultrasound that we were having another boy.

Wonderful! Brothers are great.

And of course, the middle name Christopher came from me, Christine.

Brandon had Tom's name and I wanted Ethan to have mine - just in case we didn't have anymore children.

We didn't know the future God had planned for us.

Two Different Tests

Brandon and I saw the same doctor - a family doctor.

I made an appointment for him to have a check up at the same time as my annual check up. The three of us went.

Brandon was a very healthy, smart child. The doctor saw Brandon scribbling during the appointment. He was impressed with how well Brandon held a pen at his age and the perfect circles he could draw. He told us that Brandon would be a great artist some day.

When Brandon's appointment was done, it was my turn. Tom held Brandon. I was there for my annual pap test. The doctor told me since my tests have always come back fine, I could skip it this year. I told him I'd go ahead and get the test done since I was already there and "mentally" ready.

(Never a comfortable test for me.)

A few days later I got a call that my test came back abnormal.

I needed to come in for another test. A biopsy.

I was nervous. I went in and had the test done and waited a few more days.

That test came back as level 3 dysplasia.

My understanding - Level 4 is cancer.

I cried, then I went to the library to look up everything I could about dysplasia. When I told the librarian what I was looking up and why, she told me I was very brave and that she'd be crying in a corner if it was her.

Thanks.

I had a LEEP surgery scheduled. I'm not sure why, but my biggest concern wasn't if I would be ok, it was whether or not I could have another baby. I prayed a lot that all would be ok.

The surgery was successful. I asked when it might be safe for me to get pregnant. My doctor told me to wait six weeks and let my body heal. We waited six weeks. It happened to be the same weekend as Tom's office Christmas party. We were able to stay overnight at the hotel it was at. And yes, a couple of weeks later when my parents were visiting, I took a pregnancy test and found out we were expecting our second child. Tom and I found out together. Then I put the test in a sandwich bag and took it with me to my sister's home. I showed it to my mother. She was very happy for us.

The following summer my side of the family went to Wisconsin for a family vacation/reunion. My father rented a place for all of us to stay. My family and my siblings' families. A very special week together.

And so a tradition was started. What a wonderful way to be with family every year.

Our New Home

I continued to bring Brandon with me to work.

The following year the family I worked for had another baby. A girl.

So now I spent my days with three little ones.

Tom and I decided we needed to sell my little hatchback and buy a used van.

We also decided we needed to stop spending money on an apartment and started looking for a house to buy.

My oldest sister was pregnant with her first child. We talked about me quitting my nanny job and taking care of her child. After weeks of looking, we decided to go with a different realtor. The one we had kept showing us townhomes and other attached housing. Our new one was a lady who said she could show us detached, single homes in our price range. We saw a few that were disappointing. Then she took us to one that was small, but had potential.

Brandon was a little over one year old when we visited the house. There were three small bedrooms (one was made into an "extra room" off of the kitchen) one small bathroom, a very small family room, and a kitchen. The garage was attached to the house, but there was no door from the garage to the house. Then we went into the backyard. It was nice and big! Brandon went back there and started running around. That was the selling point. We loved seeing our son run around the yard. Living in an apartment building, we didn't have a yard for him. This yard was a very nice size, had a tree, a patio, and was fenced in. Good for Brandon and our dog.

We bought the house.
I still remember driving around with my sister and her husband.
They were also looking for a home in or around Carol Stream so we could
live close to each other. We went by our new house. (They didn't know it was ours yet.) I asked my sister and brother-in-law what they thought of it. They said it looked nice. I said "Good - because we bought it."
My brother-in-law turned around with a big smile on his face. You could see how happy he was for us.
So now we needed to make this house into our home.
It took a lot of work.
 The place smelled.
We were going to need new appliances, new flooring and carpeting and all new paint. There were cigarette butts and trash in the refrigerator's broken drawer. It was disgusting. When we opened up the dishwasher, it fell forward because it was never actually installed. When the family before us painted their walls, they painted around their furniture. There were outlines of their dresser and bed on the walls. There was even one wall that had a strange "bump" on it. As we scraped at it we found a coloring page picture glued to the wall that they just painted over instead of removing first. Nice.
So as you can imagine, I was a little freaked out. Did we make the right decision? Remember, I am not a big fan of change and this was huge.
We slept on the family room floor the first night with Brandon in the playpen next to us. I was crying and questioning our decision, then a plane flew overhead. It was so loud! We were both like - "Oh goodness!"
Then we laughed.

We moved our stuff in on the 4th of July. Our "Independence" Day.

We watched the fireworks from our backyard. It was wonderful.

The neighborhood and town were very nice. We could walk to a wonderful park, a little convenience store, restaurants. (And the elementary school and later the new town center.) Great location.

When my sister had her son, I went to her new home in the same town to take care of him along with our son.

Being a Mommy

Brandon and I spent 2 days in the hospital.

Tom spent most of his time with us and then we all went home to our apartment. We moved onto the 3rd floor into a 2 bedroom a few weeks before Brandon was born.

I remember setting Brandon down and just looking at him. I was a mom! We were parents! It was wonderful. My parents and my oldest sister came to visit us that first day home. I was happy to have the company of family.

It wasn't easy carrying a baby, and groceries up two flights of stairs, but somehow we managed.

Friday nights were still spent at the laundry mat, but now we would put Brandon in his carseat on top of the washers. The rhythm would put him to sleep.

Brandon was a great baby. I took him everywhere with me. And he was adorable. I always got comments from people on how beautiful he was. I felt very blessed to be Brandon's mother. (I still do.)

I was still able to be a nanny for the same family. I took 2 weeks off after having Brandon. The boy's parents took 1 week off to stay home and then my parents went to their home and took care of the little boy for 1 week.

It was such a blessing that I could take Brandon to work with me. I loved him so much and couldn't imagine not being with him every day. I never knew you could love a child as much as I loved Brandon.

The first time I went out without Brandon was Tom and I's first wedding anniversary. Brandon came along and made us a family 9 months 3 weeks after our wedding day.

Three is a Magic Number - I used to sing that to Brandon all the time.

And I remember going to the Riverwalk - one of our favorite things to do - the three of us were sitting on a hill and Brandon just smiled at us. It was like he was saying "I really love you guys. You're fun."

Brandon Thomas

We came up with the name Brandon from the movie The Crow.

It is a "dark" movie, but we liked the music and liked the main character played by Brandon Lee. (He was accidentally killed during the filming of this movie.) And Thomas was after Tom.

I continued to nanny throughout my pregnancy.

Tom would come to visit me when he got off of work.

He went from airplane mechanic to locomotive mechanic to forklift mechanic.

When I was about 8 months pregnant my doctor decided to leave the practice I went to. I was so upset! I really liked her. But before leaving she introduced me to a midwife she liked. We decided to go with the midwife.

She would still deliver me at the hospital.

Tom and I went to Lamaze classes at the hospital.

I was prepared to have our baby without pain medication.

On March 20th, 1995 we went to bed. It was pretty late. I was feeling something, but not sure if I was in labor. By 1:00 am I knew I was.

We called our doctor and were told to go to the hospital.

We did. I was checked and was only 1 cm dialated, but they still admitted me. I immediately called my parents. They lived over 5 hours away. I thought they might want to get packed and start driving. It was only about 2:30 am. They told me they would leave later in the morning. I don't think I was aware just how long labor can last the first time.

I was in labor for around 22 hours. At first, I was laughing with Tom and eating popsicles. Around 5:00 pm I was in so much pain. I remember my nurse had to come in to calm me down. So much for Lamaze - I asked for the epidural. I was in so much pain, my midwife ordered it for me right away.

I felt much better.

My parents made it to the hospital.

Around 10:00 pm I was told I was ready to push.

My parents and my oldest sister and my oldest brother were in the waiting room. They heard me scream for the next hour. I guess my brother came to the door and heard me screaming, then I stopped. He went to my parents and told them - that's when they knew I had given birth.

Our first baby. Beautiful blue eyes. Bald little head. Around 7 lbs.
Perfect little boy.
My family came to my room. Tom and I were so happy to introduce them to our son, Brandon Thomas.

Beginning

When we returned to our apartment, it was time to start looking for a job. I had started my college years in Fashion Design and Merchandising, but after 2 years changed to Family Services. I had moved to Boston when I was 18 and was a nanny for a year. I thought maybe I would look for another nanny position near our home.

I went on one interview with a nanny agency. The lady gave me the wrong place to meet her, so I was late once I figured out the correct place. I found her to be a bit rude. When I got home I decided to look for a nanny position on my own. I found an ad in the paper. I went to meet the family. They had one little baby boy. He had some medical issues, but nothing I felt uncomfortable with. He and I bonded right from the start. I was hired.

I started right away. Monday through Friday while his parents worked outside the home. I loved this little boy. I looked forward to our days together.

A couple of weeks later I had news to tell the parents - and I was hoping they would still keep me. They did.

The news:

One morning - about a month after our wedding - I was feeling a little "off."

Tom and I decided to buy a pregnancy test. I went into the bathroom, then came out while we waited the few minutes the directions told us to.

Then we looked. Positive.

While waiting we were pretty excited. When we looked we were still excited, but a little nervous too. Wow! We were going to be parents!

The first thing I did was call my dad. 10 minutes after knowing I was going to be a mother, I shared the news with my father.

He sounded happy and surprised on the phone.

Most people we told sounded happy and surprised, especially surprised.

It worked out nicely. I was still able to be a nanny to the little boy I adored while expecting my own little boy.

Yes. We did find out we were having a boy while I was still pregnant.

We didn't want to know, but while my doctor was doing the 20 week ultrasound, she quickly pulled her arm away and said "Oops. I know what you're having." And I said "Well, now I know what I'm having." And she said "No you don't." And I said "You saw something. I know what you saw." And she continued to try and convince me that either way she would have seen something - while I kept smiling and telling her one thing would be more obvious than the other. We joked around for a bit then Tom and I just told her to tell us that what we were thinking was what she already knew.

Yes, we had a son.

Honeymoon

The best way to get used to Married Life? An awesome Honeymoon!

Tom and I spent a couple of days getting settled into our apartment, then we flew to Florida. We spent 8 days at the beach and DisneyWorld.

It was so much fun and relaxing.

At one of the restaurants they found out we were on our Honeymoon. They offered us a free dessert of key lime pie. Tom and I both had never had key lime pie. We loved it! And now we try to share a piece of key lime pie on our Anniversaries.

I still have the Pooh Bear Tom bought me while at Disney. And he still wears his '95 Mickey Mouse t-shirt. It is now a bit worn. Tom usually wears it when he is working around our home or yard.

Our Honeymoon was wonderful. Great memories from our trip together.

It was the perfect way to start our marriage.

Aurora, IL

The day after our wedding we woke up, had breakfast in our room, then headed back to my parents' home. My family and a few friends gathered there while Tom and I opened up our wedding gifts.

After, it was time to say "see you later" to everyone. Tom was already living in Illinois. He had been living with his Aunt and Uncle, but now he had an apartment waiting for us.

(Us = Tom, Me, my dog Justin, and my cats Simon and Spike.)

I remember getting in Tom's truck and backing out of the driveway. My father and my nephew Daniel were standing in the doorway. And as we pulled away, it was just my father still standing there.

I cried.

When we got to our new home in Aurora, IL, we started unloading Tom's truck. Our apartment was on the 2nd floor. No elevator.

Poor Tom. He tried hard to find a nice place for us to live. An affordable place for us to live.

This place was ok. It was a small 1 bedroom apartment.

I spent a lot of our first evening crying on our floor. I do not like change. I was scared being in a city I didn't know. Living in a new place. But I soon learned to focus on Tom and our new life together as husband and wife.

Wedding Day

May 27th, 1995.

Our Wedding Day.

I did my best to stay calm and enjoy the day. Thankfully I went back and rechecked our flowers the week before - they had the colors wrong, but now they were correct. But the cake was not. Our colors were dark blue (my favorite color) and magenta (I liked Rocky Horror.) I chose magenta bows around the flowers and magenta icing on the cake. The flowers were wrapped with dark blue, but they changed them to the magenta. But I didn't check on the cake before today and they made the icing dark blue. My father was with me when I went and saw our cake for the first time. I just stared at it and said "It's the wrong color." My Daddy said "Yes. I know." And we walked out.

I was determined not to let anything bother me that day.

We had a beautiful mass-ceremony. My girls' dresses were all handmade by a friend of mine. I was wearing my "bargain" of a dress ($200 from a thrift store), Thomas and his boys' looked very handsome, and a mutual friend sang beautifully. We enjoyed every moment. We were surrounded by family and friends. And after, we celebrated with food and dancing. Tom and I had our first dance to Brian Adams and our family dance was to Steven Curtis Chapman. Another song that was very special to me was White Wedding by Billy Idol. My brother impersonated Billy Idol when we were in college and during our reception he did a little "Billy" for us. (Hey little sister what have you done?.....)

When the party was done, Tom and I went with some of our friends to a bar downtown. It was fun going out in my wedding dress.

A couple of hours later we drove to our hotel for the night.

Preparing

A few months before we got married, Tom moved to Illinois for a job opportunity. He would drive back almost every weekend.

We wrote letters to each other every week. I still have a box full.

It was difficult to be apart, but it made our moments together even more special. We missed each other.

We also went on a couple's retreat for people who were engaged.

This was a wonderful weekend. We learned a lot about each other. We still have our folders and notebooks. It is fun to go back and read through our answers to the many questions they asked us that weekend. What you expect marriage to be like? How many children do you want to have?

I remember we had to go around our circle and describe our partner in 1 or 2 words. I'm not sure what I said, but Tom had a lot of emotion in his voice when he said "Best Friend."

We wanted to wait until I had graduated from college before getting married.

We spent about 2 years planning our wedding day.

Picking our colors, my dress, the cake, the flowers, the music,...

The nice thing was that we were getting married in the church I grew up going to. The one where I saw Tom at soon after our talk. The one that we started going to together and continued going to together while we were dating.



The Two of Us

One day we went to the mall and we walked into a jewelry store.

We looked at the diamond engagement rings together.

I saw one that I loved. It had sapphires on it just like my promise ring.

That week while sitting in one of my classes, I heard a girl behind me talking to another girl. She was describing the engagement ring she had seen and wanted. She described my ring! She drew a picture of it too.

Well, anyone who knows me knows that I tend to panic if there is a possibility that I am not going to get something that my heart is set on.

Immediately I talked to Tom.

He went back to the store and put my ring on layaway.

I would have to wait, but it was there waiting for the day Tom would officially propose to me.

I can still picture Thomas in his work uniform, covered in grease.

He came to my home. I was in my bedroom getting ready. When I opened my door, I think I caught him off guard. He just smiled and then he placed my ring on my finger.

He says he wishes he would have made it more romantic,, but I think his way was perfect. I love that it was just the two of us. I love that it was "simple, comfortable."

I love Tom for who he is. I love our relationship for who we are.

First Holidays

Our first Halloween was spent at a costume party together.

I can't remember whose party it was, so it was probably one of Tom's friend's parties. All I really remember is some girl coming up to me asking me if any of my tattoos were real. They weren't. Just part of my "costume."

Our first Thanksgiving turned out to be one of our favorite memories.

We got into Tom's little pick up. We were going to see Tom's family for Thanksgiving. I was going to meet his mother.

A few miles down the road, the truck started giving us trouble.

We weren't going to make it to his family's home.

We were very disappointed, but decided to make the best of it.

We went to a local grocery store.

They had a movie rental area. We picked out a movie.

Then we went to their deli area. They had "Thanksgiving food to go."

We got some turkey, potatoes, salads, and after hearing our story they threw in some pumpkin pie for free.

We went back to my place and had a nice evening together.

This is not what we had planned, but to this day one of us always brings it up around Thanksgiving day and we smile thinking about it.

I did eventually get to meet Tom's mother. We went to Tom's sister's home. I met his mom, his sister, her husband, and their children.

All I can really remember is going into their kitchen area and Tom's brother-in-law gave me a big smile and asked me if they should call me "one lung."

I'm not sure why I have that stored in my memory, but I do.

It made me smile.

It still makes me smile.

I met Tom's father at a hotel he was staying at. He was on a business trip in a town near us. I was nervous. I still remember what I wore because I think I took forever to get ready. I wanted to make a very nice impression.

(It was a dark green blouse.)

We sat at the bar together. The one thing that Tom and I both remember of that night was when Tom's dad was asking me questions.

The one memorable question he asked me was how many children I

wanted to have someday.

My reply?

"Bunches!"

Our first Christmas was spent at my parent's home.

I was so excited to give Tom my present.

I got him a Super Nintendo with Street Fighter. Awesome game.

And I am sorry to say I don't remember what he got me.

I will have to ask him if he remembers.

Tom fit right in with my family.

Tom has always seemed very comfortable around my family.

That is another thing I love about Tom.

Promise

My second surgery was done in June.

That one was a lot easier. I recovered much quicker.

Tom was not able to be with us this time, but he was right there with me when I got home.

We were together all the time.

One day I was lying in Tom's arms on my couch and Tom said to me that he thought he was falling in love with me.

I smiled and told him the same thing.

We weren't even looking at each other at the time - probably easier to say it that way.

Later that summer we went to an Air Show.

Tom drove us in his little white pick up truck.

On our way, Tom asked me to get him something out of his glove compartment. I reached over and opened the compartment's door - then quickly slammed it shut.

We smiled at each other as I slowly opened it again.

Inside was a beautiful sapphire ring.

Tom told me it was a promise ring.

He promised me that one day we were going to get married.

Seeing the Good

In May we returned to the Mayo Clinic.

Me, my parents, and Tom.

Yes, Tom came along and stayed with my parents in a hotel.

I of course stayed in the hospital. This first surgery was a difficult one.

I don't remember much. I do remember barely waking up a few times in the ICU after the surgery. One time I woke up for a few minutes to be surprised by a couple of my friends that had driven to Mayo to see me. That meant a lot to me. And I woke up to my parents coming in and Tom coming in.

I heard that it was hard to look at me because I was hooked up to so many machines and had tubes coming from everywhere.

After a couple of days I was moved to a regular hospital room.

I was on pain medication, but still in a lot of pain. I remember not liking my nurses because they would make me get up and walk around. They wouldn't let me lay in my bed to eat, I had to sit up on the side or in a chair.

I know they were doing this for my own good and to help me heal, but at the time I did not appreciate it. But there are so many things that I look back on and see the good where at the time I didn't.

The day that started out with a flat tire and ended in a collapsed lung, is now a day that I see as very important and life changing.

It was as if God was telling me to slow down and rethink my path. I was about to let go of a man because I was not ready for a relationship. But that day I began to see how special Tom was. He was there both times that I needed someone that day. And he stayed with me through this difficult part of my life. He was right by my side helping me through it.

And through all of this, our relationship grew strong. We spent every day together and honestly became each other's best friend.

Fixing Me

A few days later I was released from the hospital.

My father and I went to the airport to pick up my mother.

I still remember watching them hold hands in the car all the way home.

Tom started coming over to my parents' home with me after

Sunday mass. I would always go over there to have breakfast on Sundays, watch a basketball game on tv with my dad, then meet later for dinner. Now Tom was invited to come over for breakfast too.

Easter weekend.

I felt pain once again, on the other side.

Tom was at my home - a duplex I rented a couple of blocks from my parents - and I thought I better call my dad.

I talked to my dad. I wasn't positive it was my lung. The left side would collapse to the point where I needed a chest tube. The right side would collapse to the point where I didn't need a tube, but needed to be observed in the hospital for a few days. The pain was in my right side.

Tom took me to the ER.

As the doctor was going over my x-ray with me, my father and brother walked in. My lung was partially collapsed. I was admitted.

I remember my father got a little upset this time. He told the doctor he wanted to know what we had to do so this would stop happening.

The doctor made a phone call then talked to us about surgery. It sounded like a very complicated surgery and a lot of recovery time.

My father decided that he would get a hold of Mayo Clinic and we would get a second opinion from there before doing any surgery.

I am so glad we did.

My parents and I went to Mayo for a check-up.

This place is amazing. I had x-rays and tests done. The first thing we found out when I was there - my left lung was partially collapsed again.

It didn't collapse as much as it did before because of the little bit of tetracycline that went through the chest tube. That had caused "burning" and now there was scar tissue forcing my lung to stay up. At least, that is my understanding.

After all the tests we met with a surgeon.

He was good, and he knew it.

He told us about the surgeries I would need. The one on my right side could be done with a little scope going through a small incision.

The left side they had to open me up with a long incision all around the side of my chest. They had to undo what the tetracycline did first. They couldn't believe that some hospitals were still trying that procedure. Not only did it not work very often, it was the most painful thing to do to a patient.

I will second that opinion.

We set up one surgery to be in May and the next one to be in June.

The one in May would be for my left side.



A Moment to Share

So Tommy came and sat with me in the hospital.

My daddy was trying very hard to get back to Ames.

Once he did, he came and sat with me at the hospital too.

He was very thankful that Tom had been there for me when he couldn't be.

There was one day when the doctors tried a procedure that was a little

"controversial" I guess.

They were going to put tetracycline into my chest tube. I'm not exactly sure what this was supposed to do, but I do know what it did do.

My father was there with me when they did this procedure.

I was ok at first, then all of a sudden I felt burning pain.

I screamed so loudly that there were nurses running to my room. They didn't know what was going on, they were just scared and concerned. In fact, I screamed so much that the doctor putting in the tetracycline said "I can't do this!" He stopped and walked out of the room.

I was in so much pain - I was scared I wasn't going to be able to breathe.

While I was still recovering and trying to catch my breath, Tom walked in.

My father seemed relieved to see Tom. He asked Tom to stay with me while he went to do something. I think he was just overwhelmed seeing his daughter in so much pain.

And I think my father really appreciated Tom being there at that moment.

That moment was special.

My father was letting another man share in taking care of me.

I Knew

The next thing I knew, I was surrounded by nurses and a doctor who was telling me I needed a chest tube immediately.

They had me lay down, and Tom held my hand while the doctor shoved a chest tube in my side.

Not exactly the most romantic moment, but I felt something special holding Tom's hand through this.

I was scared, in pain, and so glad that I wasn't alone.

Once I was made comfortable, Tom made a list of things I needed from my apartment. He went to my place and packed a bag for me.

He brought the bag to me and then went home to get a little bit of sleep before having to go to work.

My parents were both stuck out of town.

My mother was visiting my sister many miles away and my dad was on a business trip. He had driven with another person, so he didn't have a way home right away.

Tom came to visit me every night after work - except for one night.

He called and was exhausted. He asked me if it was ok he didn't come this one night so that he could go home and get to bed early.

I told him it was fine.

The next morning I woke up to find Tom sitting next to me watching me.

He told me he was never not going to come visit me again. He couldn't stop thinking about me and felt bad not coming the night before.

That is when I knew.

I knew that Tom would always be there for me.

Losing Air

On March 17th I drove to the bank.

When I came back out to the parking lot I saw my car leaning.

I had a flat tire.

My mom and dad were both out of town, so the only person I could think to call to come help me was Tom. He was working as a mechanic at the local airport.

I called him. He left work and came to the bank and fixed my tire.

My "shining knight."

How could I tell him I wasn't interested in a relationship now?

It would have to wait.

Instead I told him I'd meet him at the bar across the street from where I was working that night and buy him a St. Patty's Day beer as a thank you.

That night while at work, Tom came in. I told him I was almost done and he could go ahead to the bar and I'd meet him there.

Soon after he left I started feeling a somewhat familiar pain in my chest. I had had 2 spontaneous lung collapses the year before. One on each side. I sat down and told a friend to go across the street to the bar and get Tom for me.

She did.

They came back and I told Tom I thought that my lung had collapsed. I got up and walked around. The pain was not getting any better so Tom insisted on taking me to the ER.

When we got to the ER I went in and told the lady at the desk that I thought I had a collapsed lung.

She asked me why I would think that and gave me a look like I was crazy.

I guess it probably seemed odd - plus it was St. Patricks Day. I'm sure they had dealt with a few people who had alcohol in their systems.

Anyways, she had me fill out a form and wait. Soon I was called back into a room and handed a robe. They wanted to do an x-ray.

After the x-ray, I was in a room with Tom. A doctor and nurse came rushing in.

My lung was 80% collapsed.

The Beginning

I was born into a Catholic family.

I believe the term is "Cradle Catholic."

I am the baby of 5 and am blessed to be a part of a loving family.

Was my life perfect growing up? No.

Are there things I would like to change if I could? Yes.

But they are things I chose.

I was raised Catholic,

but being a Catholic means much more to me today than it ever did.

I truly feel like my life turned around when I met Tom.

I was in my early 20's, going to college, and having fun.

I spent most of my nights going out with my friends after work.

Studying was not number one on my list.

Neither was being in a serious relationship.

Then along came Tommy.

I met Tom at a local bar.

His friend approached me and my friend.

And I remember telling my friend that I wanted the tall one with brown hair.

We hung out that night, but that was it.

Then I continued to see Tom at the bar.

We would sit and chat, play darts, play pool. 

One night we were chatting while he was waiting for a date to show up.

I felt disappointed when she did.

Then one night at the bar I was waiting for a couple of friends.

They didn't show up.

Tom was there with his usual group.

He came up to me and we hung out at the bar.

When it was time to leave, Tom asked me if I wanted to go get coffee.

We went to the Perkins down the street.

We sat for a couple of hours, drinking coffee, and talking about ourselves.

One thing I told Tom was that I was raised Catholic and went to St. Cecilia Church. Tom was also raised Catholic, but didn't go to church weekly anymore.

I had shared that I also had stopped going every week for awhile.

I had moved to Boston after High School and just didn't make it a priority to find a church there. Now that I was back in Ames, I was going to mass again at the church I had gone to most of my life.

That Sunday, I went to the back of the church after Communion.

As I was standing in the back I saw Tom going up to Communion.

Part of me was like "Cool! It's Tom."

The other part of me was like "Oh my gosh! It's Tom."

Why was he at "my" church?

I snuck out.

I didn't want him to see me. I guess I was still uneasy with being in a relationship and I didn't know if he had come because of me.

Our friendship continued for awhile and on January 23, 1993 we had our first date. We went to a restaurant called Lucullan's.

I still have the rose he gave me that night. I guess somehow I knew this was the beginning of something special.

Maybe it's because he brought me roses on our first date.

We continued to date, but I still wasn't sure if I was ready to have a serious relationship.

And on St. Patricks Day I was planning to let Tom know.